Worst Pick-up Lines Ever?

I live out in the boonies, so I’ve heard every horrible hillbilly pick-up line in the book. The worst aren’t even pick-up lines, they’re kind of Threat-mantic ( Please, tell me there are other Fairly Odd Parents fans out there? ) and they end up sounding far more like threats than invitations.

I think the worst I’ve ever heard is a tie between a guy who asked me on New Year’s Day when I was sick, exhausted and working register at a gas station if I’d like to help him break in a condom he’d just bought ( uh, no thanks ) and one I heard when I was 16. This guy named Buck who was in his 70s made a comment to me that he had a bag he’d like to put me in. Yeah, it’s fun out here, not scary or horrible at all! Everyone, come live in Buttcrack, Missouri and get thrown in a bag by Herbert the Pervert!

If you’ve heard a bad one, please let me know, I want to know I’m not alone! If you want a chuckle, check out Extreme Style by VO5‘s Ultimate Flirting Championship game, it’s cool but I have yet to finish it ( will finish it at the library, faster connection – I’m on dail up right now, pew! ). It’s fun, though, I have yet to achieve Victory Hair! Think you can get yourself some Victory Hair? Well don’t just sit there, go test your flirting skills over at the Ultimate Flirting Championship already, and don’t hesitate to let me know how you did!

BEFORE YOU COMMENT: Please understand that, though I'm all for free speech, I'm also busy and downright mean. Because of this I will not tolerate offensive, inappropriate or hateful comments. I'll warn you and delete the offensive part, but if you repeat the offense I'll probably ban you from the domain. I'm sorry, but I just don't have time for spam, racism, and so on and so on. Just to note: What I find offensive? Is what we'll call offensive, this being my blog and all. ;)