You Are Beautiful. YES you are!

Have you ever known someone who hated themselves for no good reason? Who had wild mood swings from being in the depths of despair, thinking they’re worthless, to defensive snap-backs where they refuse to entertain any bad notion about themselves – even if it’s just admitting they’re wrong or they don’t understand something?

Right now I’m in the midst of dealing with a friend who’s bipolar like that. And I’m having a hard time with it. See, I suffer from chemical imbalances in my brain and always have and it causes me to have a real hard time keeping cheerful, pair that with a fairly abusive and neglectful young life and a poverty stricken adult life and you’ve got yourself one bitter, depressed and likely depressing person. So I understand this girl is having issues, and I get what it’s like even if I don’t know the ins and outs, but the longer I deal with her issues and try to be there for her, the more I wonder if she’s actually depressed or if she’s just really, really vain.

She’s basically been an abusive brat for the entire time I’ve known her, and I don’t get why. She moans 24/7 about her life, but she’s got a great life. I man *great*, not just kind of good. Big house, average family, doesn’t have to work and she can get by in life by saying, “No, I can’t deal with this like an adult. I’m not well.” and nobody bats an eyelash. Not because they necessarily believe her, but because if they question it she throws a tantrum. A fit like a child, crying and screaming and threatening them, then she goes around to everyone else and lies about them. I know this because she’s done it to me, and several other people. In fact, I don’t know anyone who knows her who she hasn’t done it to. And when you question weither or not you can believe her after all that, she fesses, “Yes I do lie, I have a problem, but I never do it to my friends.” – does that make sense to anyone?

I’m trying to be supportive here, I’m trying to treat her with the same amount of respect and care that I wished I’d have gotten, but I don’t know if I can carry her issues and my own. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m over thinking this.

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